Navin's Joke Collection.gif (9409 bytes)

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Beggar- Please Sir a coin in alms.
Man- I don't have change now... take next time.
Beggar(angrily)- It's this credit that has made me a bankrupt.
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The application form had a colume-"Sex?"
And a girl applying for the job wrote- " Once a week".
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Servant (to the employer)-i'm going away leaving the job.
Employer-Why?
Servant-You've no more faith in me . 
Employer-Who says? Even the keys of the safe remain lying on the table.
Servant- But none of them can unlock the safe.
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A commuter saw a man picking his pocket and said "Aren't you ashamed to 
pick my pocket?"
"Rather it is you who should be ashamed. There is not a paisa in your 
pocket".
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A woman told another -"My neighbour has always been speaking ill of her 
husband. Now, see me, my husband is fool, lazy and coward but did i ever say anything
about him?" 
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A pickpocket was fined 100 rupees but he had only 25. Therefore, he 
requested the judge to allow him some time to bring the rest of the money.
"No, you can't go", the judge said, "You send somebody home to fetch it".
The pickpocket then said, "Sir, there is no money in the house. You please 
allow me to take a round of the court premises, and i'll produce the money.
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A fun loving peon shouted in the office- 
"Has anybody lost a bundle of bank notes tied in a rubber band?"
"Yes, I've" cried 3-4 persons together.
"But I found this rubber band only", said the peon laughing.
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In the Ramlila the man playing the part of Ravana fought so bravely and well
that people praising it shouted, "Well done, once more".
No sooner did the dead Ravana listen it than he got up and started fighting 
with Rama afresh.
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Philosopher- Today someone stole the purse from my pocker.
Wife-How, did you not know when he put his hand into your pocket?
Philosopher- I knew, but then I thought it was my own hand.
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Poet- Did you like my new poem?
Man- I liked the end the most.
Poet- which portion?
Man-When you said, " This is the last line, now I say good bye".
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Child- Where were you born papa?
Papa- In a foreign country son.
Child- And you mummy?
Mummy- In Delhi, darling.
Child- And I ?
Mummy - In a nursing home at Jaipur.
Child- Then, mummy I don't understand how did we three get together?
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Jivan- Please return the umbrella you borrowed yesterday.
Raman- Do you want it just now? My friend has borrowed it.
Jivan- What? But the man whom I had borrowed from wants it immediately 
because he says the owner of the umbrella is standing at the door insisting
on its urgent return".
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Lalu- Does your father remember God before taking his meals?
Lalita- Why, yes he does
Lalu- How do you know?
Lalita- Yesterday when he was taking lunch he exclaimed " Oh God! again 
pumpking today".
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Man (to a young lady)- I've already met you somewhere and we have talked 
together for quite a long time. But can't remember when and where?
Nurse- Sure, you have met and talked with me. You need not tax your memory,
 I give you the place - it's mental hospital. I'm a nurse there.
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A butcher was leading a goat to a slaughter house. The goat was crying.
The child asked - "Why's it crying so much?"
"Because it's being led to the slaughter house".
"Is that all? I thought it was being led to school", said the child.
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