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"You need not be afraid of my dog", said a housewife to salesman hesitating 
at the gate."Don't you remember barking dogs seldom bite".
"I do remember the saying," said the salesman, "but how do I know if the 
dog remembers it or not".
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"I live in the flat on 3rd floor. When you come to see me you press the 
button of the door bell with your elbow".
"But why with elbow? I'll do it with my right index finger".
"Oh, you are simpleton. You don't understand even this simple thing.Then
your hands will be full with nice presents."
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Don't believe a lawyer. He can do what he cannot and even speak the truth 
sometimes to win a case.
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A woman used to quarrel with her husband every day for new clothes and 
ornaments. One day she said, " Bring saris and diamond ring for me or I 
shall depart to my parents".
"And when you come back",replied the husband smiling,"bring a suit length 
for me also"
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"Why are you not going to school today, my son", enquired
 the mother.
"No, I won't go".
"But why?" the mother again asked with curiosity.
"Because our teachers always keep in shifting their ground".
"How's that?"
"Day before yesterday my teacher told me that 5 and 2 are seven and 
 yesterday said 3 and 4 are seven. Well, what's the use of going to 
 such a school"?
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A reader was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he
always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so?"It's doubly interesting", said the 
reader. "To start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its 
conclusion, but also about its beginning"
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A fellow went to a physician and requested to give him some such medicine or 
tonic which might help to  live for 100 years.
The physician asked the fellow-
"Do you drink?"
"No, Sir".
"Do you smoke?"
"Not at all".
"Do you love some lady?"
"Not at all".
"Or intend to love?"
"Naah"
"Then why do you want to live for 100 years"
asked the physician annoyed.
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